As the weather gets colder and more wintery, I have more problems with the relationship of my body to objects in the time/space continuum, especially if there's a full moon. A few days ago when the full moon was shooting beams down onto Earth, I had a particularly ridiculous day.
It started with dropping a glass saucer first thing in the morning. There I was pre-caffeine, faced with a rambunctious cat and shards of glass scattered all over the floor. I had no choice but to get out the vacuum cleaner and suck up the glass, followed by sweeping to make sure there were no shards left.
The vacuum cleaner is a story in itself. Its long handle broke off years ago. I tried duct-taping it back on, but this flimsy repair couldn't withstand the force of the vacuuming motions. So when I vacuum I have to either do it on my knees or stoop over. Now, with broken glass on the floor, I couldn't kneel, so I had to bend over and vacuum.
As I stood up, I whacked my head hard on the cupboard, then dropped the dustpan full of glass. This meant I had to start all over again with the vacuuming and sweeping--before my cup of tea, remember...
The day went surprisingly smoothly after that, except during another job interview when I noticed dried blood stains on one of my portfolio pieces--no mystery, though--I'm constantly cutting my fingers. As well, I hadn't noticed until leaving the interview that moths had eaten an apple-sized chunk out of my colourful pink scarf.
I was a bit nervous going to opera rehearsal that night, as we were getting the choreography for a song and dance number I'm in, and I'm hopelessly inept at learning dance routines. It takes me 10 times longer than the average person to get them. I decided to make a hearty dinner of nachos before I went out to face my dance Gotterdamerung. Only thing is, I forgot to include cheese. This did not bode well.
Naturally, while getting direction on the dance number, I was unable to remember the lyrics and count kicks at the same time. My brain just short circuited. I'm surprised no one saw the smoke coming out of my ears...Also, I kept kicking on the wrong side, so I ended up kicking the other girls. I wouldn't blame them if they started wearing protective padding to rehearsals to prevent injury from my wayward kicks.
After that expenditure of energy, I sat in the audience watching my colleagues rehearse. I fiddled with my earring and heard it drop onto the filthy auditorium floor. It's big and gold, so you'd think it wouldn't be hard to spot. But I spent 20 minutes crawling around on the floor among the dustballs looking for it. I had given up when, during the break as I was talking to a guy who claimed not to have noticed me crawling around on the floor behind him and freaking out, I spotted the earring right by my foot! This saved the whole entropic day, and gave me hope that not all things in my life will be broken and permanently lost.
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