Lock up your fruit trees

The urban foraging season is here! I was thrilled to find a big rhubarb plant growing in a yard beside a U of T building this week. Assuming no one was ever going to pick it and it would just go to waste, I stealthily snuck into the yard, and cut a bunch of rhubarb stalks, took them home, and stewed them for dessert. Recipe: Simmer the stalks in a bit of water until they're soft, add sugar, and voila…. sweet/sour deliciousness.

Every spring I'm on a quest for abandoned rhubarb. One year I found a nice big plant growing on Sudbury Street. I pulled out my knife and was about to hack off some stalks when I looked up and realized I was right out in front of Dufflet desserts; very likely it was their rhubarb they were planning to bake into some delectable dessert. As it was 2:00 in the afternoon, I jumped on my bike and got out of there fast before someone inside noticed the rhubarb robber...

In fact, nothing is safe from my predation. If your fruit-bearing tree or bush has branches shooting over your fence onto the public space of a sidewalk, look out -- my highly sensitive fruit-raiding radar will hone in on your fruit and pick and eat it. Plus, I have several secret locations where I usually pick berries.

I was discomfited to see the new configuration of the park at Clarence Square. A section of it has been cordoned off and made into a leash-free dog-run area. This is great for the dogs, but not so great for me, since there's an apple tree now inside the dog area. I used to pick apples from it in the fall by hitting them with a stick so they fell onto the ground… Now? The ground is not looking too sanitary.. So goodbye, Clarence Square apple pies.

If I trusted Lake Ontario, I'd be out fishing at Harbourfront every morning to catch dinner. But how healthy is that environment for fish? According to the Ministry of Natural Resources, mercury, PCB, and dioxin levels have dropped drastically in Lake Ontario fish…. But -- I just can't do it. It's like when I went swimming at Cherry Beach a couple of years ago -- the water was officially clean enough to swim in -- but it just felt wrong, and I did not linger. (Plus, there were tall weeds threatening to wrap themselves around my legs and drown me like in a horror movie.)

I've been goaded further in my foraging frenzy by taking an edible and medicinal foods workshop. Suddenly, after going on a guided walk through a Rosedale ravine and sampling a profusion of edible plants, I'm looking funny at every plant I see growing anywhere in the city. No plant is safe from my herbivorous gaze.

Garlic mustard is everywhere (it's an invasive species, and we can help eradicate it by eating it), and my big love now is gout weed. It's so delicious! I can pick handfuls of it for on-the-spot salad eating. Stinging nettle and burdock are everywhere too. Most exotic are the Japanese knotweed plants, which look like bamboo from another planet. These are also an invasive species and should be devoured. The only proviso is that you need to eat them right away; otherwise the stalks get soggy and lose their flavour.

With all these plants and berries growing all over the city, I may not need to feel so bad about being unable to afford organic farmer's market prices!